Of course your mom cares! But maybe not about some things. Simple question, do you think your mom cares more about what you have done or who you become?
No tricks. I think I can, with a little hesitation, speak for most moms, they care far more about who you are than what you have accomplished.
Mother's day is around the corner. It is a great day! Young kids will make gifts to show their moms how much they love them. Teenagers will try to buy gifts with mixed results and likely not even use their own money!
Adults, well we give gifts, but we often try to give experiences for Mother's Day. Lunch at a favorite restaurant, a day of coffee and shopping, maybe mom's favorite movie. You should do all these things.
Can I humbly offer you consider giving one other gift? Maybe even the best gift. Become the "right" person. Making your mom proud of who you are is the best gift you can give her. It will fill her with a joy nothing else can touch. I recently shared in a message about this. You can watch it here.
(If you don't want to watch the whole thing, can't say I blame you! Check out the 14:11 minute mark)
You becoming the right person is not only a great gift for your mom, but it will make your family better, your co-workers will appreciate it and your neighbors will be glad to live by you! There is no downside in this!
Become the right person...how? The short answer is to authentically follow Jesus. It will make you better at relationships and it will make your relationships better.
There are a few everyday actions you can take. Here are four ways to express what is happening on the inside.
Be Present. Yes give presents too, but one of the best presents you can give mom (or anyone else) is to actually be present when you are with them.
We have all seen it and I know I have done it. You probably have too. We have been in the physical space with people but have invested ourselves in the digital space of our phone.
Even If I don't have my phone in my hand I have sat with people I care about thinking about work or sports or my project at home. Being present is just that, giving the other person your attention. It is a gift.
Jesus was a master at this. No one around Jesus ever wondered if they mattered to Him. Could you imagine him scrolling or looking over your shoulder to see who else was around when you were talking to him? Nah me either.
Be like Jesus, Be present
Ask More and Answer Less. You know the reason I don't like know it all's? Because I can be one. Like the old adage says, "it take one to know one". I don't imagine anyone really likes hanging around know it all's. It is exhausting hanging with someone who knows everything and has an opinion about everything. You just want to tell them to STOP.
For most of us, we don't do that. But what is a better way? How do we show we are becoming the right person. Ask more questions.
When you are with people make sure you ask more questions. You will learn some things you didn't know which is nice. But more importantly, you will encourage the person you ask. It communicates you want to know them, hear their opinion and know what they think. That is powerful.
Build Up Bigger. I need to work on all of these but this is the one I need to work on most. Becoming the right person means building up others. Build them up bigger than they are! Wait isn't that inauthentic and manipulative? It can be, but it shouldn't.
Talking about people behind their back and to their face about how great they are, their strengths and what you love about them is encouraging and inspiring. It not only calls out their good points but it gives them something to live up to. Your mom probably did this for you. Now it is your turn.
You don't want to be the person who is always looking for someone to build them up...whew that guy is tiring. Why not become the person who is always lifting others? Everyone wants to be around her.
Love your weakness. You were probably with me right up to this point! Now you are ready to click off. Hold on. If no one has ever told you I want to, because I love you! You have some weaknesses and it is ok.
Everyone I know has places they would like to do better as well as skills they want but don't have. I am not suggesting you quit trying to get better. Instead I am saying your weakness makes you human.
Pride is ugly and one the ugliest things about it is it isn't based in reality. No matter how skilled someone may be, they still have weakness. When they act like they don't have weakness they look foolish, immature and inauthentic. Pride becomes their weakness! Funny how pride always does that.
Besides when I am weak (and I am, and I know it) I am made strong.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Cor 12:9-11
Becoming the right person isn't about a few items on checklist. Truthfully these four things are good signs that something has happened in you and to you. The only way to become the best version of yourself is through Jesus.
Accepting what Christ has done for you on the cross and following Him changes you...into the right person. He is the reason what you become is much more important than what you have done.
So give mom the best presents you can this year. But make sure you are becoming the right person. Your mom will be filled with joy, your family will love you and your neighbors will see.
Want more help with the idea of becoming someone else? Contact me at info@mountainridge.org
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Pastor Brett, I have been struggling with issues with my mom for years. This series on relationships, especially the part about honoring the position, if I cant honor the person, has really helped. Thank you!